1. “Ashley, if I come to Austin, can we hang out?”
Answer: No. I’m pretty lame anyways. My fun consist of watching reality t.v., drinking wine, and throwing water balloons at birds.You would not have fun.
2. “Ashley, do you realize that you are killing your cat by over-feeding him.”
Answer: No. He seems pretty happy to me. If all I had to do everyday was lay around and eat, I’d be pretty happy too. Furthermore, what my cat and I do are none of your business!
3. “Ashley, do you have a boyfriend.”
Answer: Yes, I have a whole closet full–lined up and categorized by size and color. Oh, boyfriend? I thought you said shoe…
4. “Ashley, you really shouldn’t use cuss words on your blog.”
Answer: Look up in the top right hand corner of your computer screen. See that red X? Click it. Problem solved.
5. “Ashley, for a lawyer, your grammar and spelling aren’t that great.”
Answer: My boss would probably agree. Thankfully, I’m still peon enough to have everything I do reviewed by someone else. I really am working on my writing, though!
6. “Will you marry me”
Answer: That depends. Are you rich? I’m looking to marry up.
7. “Why do you let your dog bite people.”
Answer: I don’t , weirdo. But I do hold him thisclose from little children’s faces and let him bark really loud. This might be the dumbest question ever.
8. “Does your boss know about this blog?”
Answer: Yep, but I think she prefers getting the live version of my life at work. I don’t think she reads it regularly. But if she does, I am not writing this at work right now. Nope. Not at work.
9. “Does your mom really read this blog?”
Answer: Not sure. If she did I would probably get yelled at. I know my grandparents do, though. The Chicken Sh*t Bingo post was their favorite! They’re pretty cool.
10. “Can I send you a present?”
Answer: I’m having flashes of that Saturday Night Live skit with Justin Timberlake and the “special box,” so no. Plus, your idea of present and my idea of present might not jive.
There you go. Hopefully I have skillfully avoided answering your questions, for now. Keep em’ coming though. I really do like reading what you have to say. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to let everyone else read it too! Have a great Thursday, Grasshoppa.
